I Love You Like A Love Song

Suggesting from the title itself.

It fades.

It does sticks to your tongue and brain for a couple of hours or the longest would be a day.

Thus, the haphazard of burying your feelings in an office romance.  Well, in my case its not actually on that sticky situation but when you do agree on stuff especially on Star Wars and GOT.  There’s no other thing to consider and think about but what a coincidence and why now.

Let’s just say we had the greatest time of our lives sort of getting to know how nerdy we both are but after a couple of days, the chat session slowly went down.  It turned into weeks it got fewer and months until a year had passed that you had no more communication.  Just like going back to zero.  It seems like you don’t even know each other when there are group meetings.

At first you are thinking that it will just come and go and maybe he had some hang ups from his end but eventually when it hits you like a comet out of nowhere.  It dawned to you that he is literally avoiding you like you were a disease, an incurable disease if I may say.

Why does it hurt when in fact your conversation had only been about Star Wars and that heart clutching GOT because…

You expected more, I think I expected something out from it which was wrong.

So how to cope up with this “I Love you Like a Love Song” syndrome?  Just like an lss it fades, slowly but before it does, it catches you with its web of lies and illusion.

I love you like a love song, baby

and it keeps repeaaaaatinnng

LOL

The Wearer

When you’re in a crowd and people starts to stare at you.  Look at you like they know and judge you through the back of their human minds.  There are some that would judge you as fake, ugly, fat, thin, poor, rich, beautiful and the rest of the adjectives goes on.  That’s the back of their minds but when you look at their faces, it sometimes provide a somewhat promising smile that invites you. Sometimes its a blunt stare or good part is the negating physical message they do.

We all are in a mask because we don’t want others to know the real us.  We are in a mask because we don’t want others to ridicule the real us.  We are in a mask because we want others to love and adore us.  We are the mask.

The superficial and temporary comfort that it provides us makes us think that it is okay to hide and be someone else we are not.  Its like accepting to live in an endless lie and immature world of decaying principles.  Thinking that this bullshit is correct and real is pathetic comfort.

Now, we tend to find real and unconditional love but how? when we are all in masks.

This mask is like an epidemic disease that caught up with the pop culture.  It sickens our minds like there’s no cure.

Just pause and reflect.

Move forward…

I Swallowed VIRUS

At first it was like you’ve gulped a ball of furry cat hair from your grandma’s Sunday visits but the longer you try your saliva to go down your thorax it became evident that there’s an eminent pain and fear.

Fear that once you do it again, the firing pain will be more obvious and you’ll know that this will be of no good.

F***! why now, I have more things to do than dwell with this God forsaken burden.  I’d rather have Donald Trump talk to me about women with his puckering lower lip than have this.  Yes, it’s the worse.

It’s the feeling of fearing the known.  It’s the nowhere to turn to but just that way.

I guess I have to stand firm and fight this.  Its an epic battle.

In the end, you would know you’ve conquered it because when you SWALLOW, the pain is no longer there but a feeling of relief.

Ahhhhhh

Cough- Cough-Cough

Okay2x too soon – just too soon.

 

Close Enough but not that Enough

Normal days and the routine thing to do.

Nothing to be amazed of and I don’t have anything to look forward to except when the elevator door opened.  It seemed like it went slomo, I bet its super slomo because I do believe that the person in front of me doesn’t deserve to be alone with me inside the cube box.  Why? his effin’ HOT and God, where do they get the photoshopped like body nowadays.

My head is getting a little bit dizzy and my hands are getting twitchy plus in the back of my mind, I never forget my floor # but what the heck, I intend to just go with the flow and just press the # of the floor where am supposedly at after he leaves the lift.

My oh my, it seems like he kinda read my mind and none of us pressed the #s and I was taken a back when he came closer by the time a bunch of kids and my neighbour came in.  Surprisingly, I said hello to her and so was everything happened in a flash and I felt a finger trying to reach for my hand.  I was about to shout or cross my arm and give whoever that person is a scary face but that finger connects to the effin’ guy in the lift and he slowly intertwine his fingers to mine while my dazed head and sort of blushing face just trace and hides a smirk.

After my neighbour, got out of the lift, I carelessly said goodbye to her and again she was not used to it just gave me a half smile (oh God that was too obvious). It seems like the lift is getting humid and my visions are getting blurry as his musky scent and by the time he open his mouth, it sends tingles to my spine and creates more toxins to my head to the point of me not thinking.  Why is he even talking in Brit accent? God, I don’t deserve this, please don’t make it end.

I couldn’t even answer him and just smile, a fool kind of smile (s***).  I do believe that he thought I was not hearing him so he went closer and whispered in my ear…

“Ahhh yooo owkay?” (Brit remember?)

And I fainted.

P.S.

Last time I check, am still in my room but with a note in my right hand 😉

The Day I Hated Biology Class

Rrrrriiiiinnnnnnngggggg!!!!

1st period of my sophomore days was the life changing chapter where I have admitted that I hate Science.  In general, I don’t make a fuss about stuff that I don’t really like or discomfort of being in such situation but this is the exception.

1st day of school and my classmates were all in chitchat mode bout how their summer had been and how’d some lied bout havin’ great time (sheesh, I can totally not buy your crap, et al; you going on a cruise with your bf when I saw you with your mom in the home decor aisle w/ your grumpy face on).  

Boys, got a lot taller while girls got a little bit curvy (on some parts) as for me my genes where doing some action but not on my supposedly sexbomb body (darn;that’s why I wasn’t cheerleader;lol) but on my face. No, nope guys, you guessed it all wrong, its not that I had my first zit ever.  To tell you frankly, I haven’t experienced during my highschool and uni days to have that kind of problem, though I do believe that I have a dry skin during that time.

Okay, so we all went inside the Bio room and sensed some creepiness as there are preserved animals, and a fetus in a big jar.  Good thing the room is well lighted so we can actually know that those carcass are not moving while our teacher is discussing bout the Phylums etc..

This is why I hated Biology class, it was all too sudden and face palm w/o prior clue or whatsoever that it may come out from our teacher’s tackless mouth.  Me standing together with my other used to be “popular” seat mate to submit the lab observation form and teacher said “I’d prefer girls w/o freckles because its more beautiful to see a clear complexion” and BAM!

I know its too childish for me to still think bout it but being bullied by your classmates are things that I have mastered to cope up but by your own teacher is a different thing.

P.S.

I still have freckles and am loving it, regardless on what you prefer.

I DON’T CARE, I LOVE IT! 

Out of the Office Message

“Leave your message after the BEEP!”

tooooottttt

I’m experiencing the hanged of the dragging looonngg weekend.

I need something to really make spirit awake to the point that will excite my senses (this is terrible choice of words;ikr).

So just leave a message after the beep and don’t forget to make it exciting.

P.S.

Am doing John Green.

Coachella where my 1st <3 Break :)

And yes I ended it with a smile.

It was when Keane’s “We Might as well be Strangers” that I have realise that we needed this while I was waving my hand, he was nowhere getting some drinks.  The sweats in my palm and back, my back with the red rash coz of my braid tail that constantly irritates my pores every time I move my head up and down to the beat of the songs.

I was thinking that he was really getting drinks but what I’ve seen was not at all what I imagined, he was with his ex and darn, am I just blurry or putting too much drama in my head.  I totally saw them warmed each other’s body (like the heat in this place is not enough) and they have found the common thing after the warmth, as they succumb every moment like there’s no tomorrow, I was there standing with chills in my spine up to my toe, dazed, and sort of like my soul was sucked out from me as Lorde plays her usually urban dub step thing (I’m a fan of her).  I want to open my mouth and shout to him and dash in bet. the merging bodies, just like the parting of the Red Sea (am sorry to use this) but salty waters just ran down my red chubby cheeks and I smiled (not kidding here).

I went back to the crowd and I chant with them like there’s nothing wrong, like I was ecstatic to hear and be there but there were gallons of tears rolled down and down and down.

He texted me “Where you @?, got the drinks, babe” and I’ve texted back “Sorry, but am with Bruno and Drake now” (background music was Mine oh mine).  But to tell you frankly, I was eyeing him holding the drinks and looking pissed or confused or both actually.

P.S.

Am sitting in a damp grass with a beer in a hand talking to a guy who have really got me a drink in just a few seconds.

Am not his ex, btw.

Thowz Rich Kidz

I ride my wrecked Mitsi of a gun down the grandeur of Hamptons and I saw kids who are not so kid looking on their ferrari converts and pumping up those thug, swag sonata that seems like the singer needs a break to really talk like a normal person.

So I just kinda shrug that thought of me getting intimidated with what I thought the coolest and most wicked car that I’ve ever own in my entire life, well that was when I’m ages ago (am not saying am that old though; I still can relate to Divergent;ahem) and well I still have it.  But it’s when they both look at me while they are making out like totally digging the deed.  And at last they broke loose, for it seems like forever and seems like happy that they have an audience.

Young, wild and Free that is.

P.S.

I’m changing my tires right now coz am stuck in nowhere.

Wrench anyone?!

Bitch in a form of a Bitch

Never talk back when you know your kind because it just seems like your talking back to yourself.  Its like a mirror, every word you let out in your mouth, it just come right back at you.  Sometimes with spears that would pierce ones soul.

It’s just like the saying “Only the wicked, see the wicked” so if you knew that your also doing it, just don’t exempt yourself and be clean in a filthy way.

Never ever.

P.S.

I know everyone is a bitch including men (I see your disapproving face).

Sleepless Nights

Looking at the Heineken bottle, carefully and slowly falling from the table rim.  And I thought that it would crush like crushed into a thousand pieces of crystals on the damp ground but instead it was only a thud.

I looked around to the darkness in our neighbors’ yard, thinking that maybe somewhere or someone out there might be spying or looking at me secretly but nah.

So much for my theatrical imagination I slip with the very bottle that had fallen and my whole body is now lying, almost pillowing the bottle in my head. I couldn’t feel any pain but it seems like something wet gushed out in my head. As I tried pulling myself together I couldnt beacause it feels like am in my cozy bed and I just closed my eyes.

I might remember those but things after that was blurry and wth!, am not even in front of my house nor in any ones house, am in a freakin water, a massive body of water with nothing to see but the water and the ray of sun. F***!

Where am I!!!!

P.S.

Watching UFC and drinking another bottle of Heineken.

Hik!